Lemongrass is my Weed.

Yeah! Lemongrass! Ward off evil bloodsucking bugs and get high at the same time! It's legal, and it's cheap. Keep your summer bug free and drug-dealer free! No one will say anything if they see you with a brandname lemongrass product in your hand. It's the "it" thing! Get yours today, and get a bug-free enviroment and a noteworthy high. Any lemongrass product will do; we guarantee it! (The term "lemongrass product" refers to any product containing lemongrass and has potential for warding off bugs and creating euphoria. Guarantee void in Earth, Pluto, Halley's Comet, the Milky Way, and the universe. Not to be used on human beings, lemongrass not included.)

Yeah, I haven't done an infomercial in SOOOO long, but now I've broken my fast and it feels GOOOOD!!! I didn't even realise how much I missed taking it out on the ad industry. Now that I think about it, most of those infomercials were on Cyberfae. Hmm. I'll just go and copy over some of those posts, along with Tatanya-the-cohost's responses.

"Tatanya, come over during spring break and try our delicious line of maple products, including maple syrup, maple candy, and sugar-spun maple leaves! In fact, try a bag of our famous maple sugar! You can use it where-ever convetional sugar is used, except for in the making of chocolate, pudding, and dairy products. Try some today, eh?" -- Talking about Canada

"NOW YOU CAN CARRY YOUR BESTEST FRIENDS WITH YOU WHEREVER YOU GO, WITH OUR NEW BRING-A-FRIEND FRIEND CONDENSING MACHINE!! YOU'LL NEVER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THEM NOT FITTING AGAIN!! some assembly required, batteries not included." -- Talking about fitting friends into overhead compartments

Hey, I just ran into that thread where we were all scientifical and Einstein and everything!!! (Ahh... memories.) http://www.cyberfae.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=852

Me (Faefae): "And now, a word from our sponser: ARE YOU TIRED OF HEART PROBLEMS AND THE CONSTANT MEDICATION THAT IT COMES WITH? HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT THAT HERBAL MEDICINE MIGHT WORK MUCH, MUCH BETTER? WELL, YOU SHOULD TRY FOXGLOVE, OUR 100% ALL NATURAL LEAFY PLANT, NON-CLINICALLY PROVEN TO CURE HEART ATTACKS. IF THIS DOESNT WORK FOR YOU, YOU CAN GET YOUR MONEY BACK! offer void if customer dies. side effects may include swollen face, heart failure, stroke, blood poisoning, and sudden death."
Tatanya: "IS THERE AN AGE LIMIT ON PURCHASING YOUR PRODUCT?"
Me: "Keep out of reach of children under 50. (because they are too healthy to die, and then they'd want their money back) We are not responsible for any medical difficulties caused by the underage intake of our product."
Me (in a later post): "If you have already deceased due to our products, this product is not for you. if you suffer from the undead syndrome, please consult your mortitian before use."

Me: "THE CREATE-A-SMILE INFORMERCIALS!!! ALL EPISODES AVAILABLE ON ONE DVD!!! THOSE WITTY ADS FOR THE PRODUCTS YOU WISH YOU HAD ON A DISK THAT YOU CAN ENJOY ANYTIME YOU WANT!!!"
Tatanya: "THIS DVD INCLUDES ALL OF THE VARIOUS "FOXGLOVE" INFOMERCIALS* THAT YOU LOVE! *you cannot call any of the contact information on ANY of the "FOXGLOVE" infomercials due to various lawsuits filed by the undead... "
Me: "According to rule #7882*, the undead minority counts counts as a branch of the dead, rendering those lawsuits void. *Source: Faefae's guide to debate and politics " -- Right after the Foxglove incident.

Oh the wondrous frabjous days! Oh the Calloohs and Callays! (I luv my Jabberwockyness)

I love reading old threads.

Anyway. Yesterday was the International Anti-Drug Day or something like that. Thought I'd mention that before you guys go off smoking lemongrass.

After months of searching, I've finally found Tithe, at the Quebec Library thingamabob. (I forgot what it's called again.) I'm happy, of course, and I'll start reading as soon as I finish Pendragon 5 (Black Water). But still; you'd think it would take me a little (a lot) less than a few MONTHS to find such a prominent book, especially if I've searched multiple libraries (municipal libraries, too). I mean, what's wrong with people that they go and buy books that practically NOBODY has heard of and doesn't even have blurbs, but they don't buy Tithe??? I mean, even if you're french-speaking and don't know much about the English-speaking world the least you can do is check the NYT bestseller list. And then there's the library that has Valiant, but not Tithe. How can you have just the sequel but not the prequel??? Hasn't it occured to you that if SOOOO many people borrowed that book that maybe, just maybe, at least SOMEONE wants the first book??? Same goes for the people who have Nicolsen's Wind on Fire #1 and #3, but not #2! I've been waiting for Slaves of Mastery since FOREVER!!!!!!!!! I mean, just because almost the only books that I actually buy are the Artemis Fowl books doesn't mean I should be less able than other people to read a bestseller that I want, because as much that I like the books and stuff, I don't go and spend $20 on a hardback. Even with AF mine are all paperbacks and bought off the Scholastic catalogue or book fair. If someone has too many books that they wanna read to buy all of them, and they happen to be stuck in a french-speaking city with a sucky library system (I've known WAAAAY better), they shouldn't be condemed to have a reading list compromised drastically because of a simple and stupid reason like not finding the book even though it's a flippin well known bestseller. If they can find books with stupid names like "Bob" than they should, with good reason, be able to find a book like Tithe. Heck! Even The Wish List was hard find, and I've only just got it at the same time as Tithe (I'll read it after Tithe).

Must go off and fume.